Wednesday, January 7, 2009

- End -

I've decided to stop updating this blog and find another space to talk about other stuff.

Erm, thanks for reading?

Don't know what else to say.

Japan was a wonderful experience. I never regretted going there and meeting the people I met.

Hontouni, arigatougozaimashita.

Sayonara.

*bows deeply*

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

あなたは今元気ですか?

日本であなたを少し忘れました。でも、今、もう一回覚えます。心が痛いけど、私は全然何もしてません。

背叛 - 曹格

雨 不停落下来 花 怎麼都不开
尽管我细心灌溉 你说不爱就不爱 我一个人 欣赏悲哀

爱 只剩下无奈 我 一直不愿再去猜
钢琴上黑键之间 永远都夹著空白 缺了一块 就不精采

紧紧相依的心如何Say goodbye 你比我清楚还要我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢 我用背叛自己 完成你的期盼

把手放开不问一句 Say goodbye 当作最後一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡今後都不管 只要你能愉快

心 有一句感慨 我 还能够跟谁对白
在你关上门之前 替我再回头看看 那些片段 还在不在

***

那时候的你,是不是也是这么想? 那时候,不应该开始那段感情。看到你的简讯,情不自禁地想哭。为你感到悲伤,痛苦。好傻。都过了四个月了,还是在为你担心。我是不是笨蛋啊?

***

Superwoman - 曹格


Early in the morning I put breakfast at your table
一夜都没睡但我 不曾如此清醒
我早餐准备了你 爱吃的东西

这次换我等你被咖啡 的香味叫醒
想要找回每天早晨 对我微笑着的你
还能够 做些什么代替我的歉意
总是望着我 小心翼翼顺着我呼吸
而我竟然理所当然 让你精疲力尽

You were my superwoman
安静的在身边 无条件给我 梦寐以求的温柔

But I am only human
我怎么不懂你多寂寞 残忍的犯了错
不能失去你 Ooh-Babe—
Ooh—Babe—
You fought your way through the rush hour
Try to make it home just for me
月光下静静靠着彼此 只求夜长一点

有多久没有好好看你 只是认定了我
无论在什么时候回头 都有你的笑容
是我忽略了你也会有 想要哭的感觉
没有一种付出应该永远心甘情愿
再给被宠坏的男人最后一次机会

换我忍耐换我等待 不要真的弃权
You were my superwoman
安静的在身边 无条件给我 梦寐以求的温柔
But I am only human
我怎么不懂你多寂寞 残忍的犯了错
不能失去你 Ooh-Babe—
是我把爱想得太简单
以为只要我存在就能让你取暖
心里唯一的superwoman没有人能代替
不能想像更不能原谅这样让爱化成 灰烬

You were my superwoman
安静的在身边 无条件给我 梦寐以求的温柔
But I am only human(可惜我只是一个 只是一个人)
我怎么不懂你多寂寞 残忍的犯了错(不能失去你)

***
是啊,好久以前,我就是你的superwoman。

"Home" Sickness

I hope that this will be one of my last few posts. The blog was opened for Japan, and now Japan has ended... the blog posts must end too. I will find some other blog to talk about my daily (boring?) Singapore life. But, here are some observations about Singapore and my Singaporean life.

1. Singlish on board SQ 617. I have no idea why, but when I heard Singlish on board SQ 617, I cringed. I do speak Singlish and add a smattering of "lahs" and "lors". But, Singlish seemed to just grate on my ears when I first heard it. YK and BK both used Singlish with me, I should be fine with it. But no... I felt a little alienated when I heard the Singlish accent. It's not like, "eh! Singaporean! I feel so at ease now". It's more of.. "Singaporean. Avoid, avoid!" (Which was how I usually behaved when i was in Japan anyway). But now, it's getting better...

2. Weather. Hot and humid. It's been such a long time since I experience heat discomfort. For the past 3 months, it's always been, "I'm damned cold". Heat was a blissful respite from the biting wind. No longer is the case! Now, it's "bloody hell! I'm melting! I'm gonna die from heat exhaustion!" It's so warm that my grapefruit lipbalm has melted =( It's amazing, this heat and humidity. I have to spray more perfume. =X

3. Getting back in sync. No jet lag for me, unlike other people. So, I'm getting back into the swing of things. Sometimes, I feel like I've never left Singapore. The ease with which I navigate the MRT system, how I get to school, how I get INTO school and around school. There's a familiarity in doing all these. Which is kinda frightening, because it shows that Japan is fading fast. It's just a memory now. It feels so surreal. While I've got friends in Japan I keep in contact, it's sort of not the same. It's not the same as being there, bundled up in 5 layers and navigating my way from heated place to heated place. It all feels so... different. I can't believe that it's been only less than a week since I've left Japan. It feels so long so long so long...

4. Chinese drama. My mom was telling me about the 9pm show. I seem to have partially lost interest in Chinese drama. Instead, I dream about Osaka comedy shows like Red Carpet. *sighs* And watching morning news in Japanese and waiting for the weather forecast and hope it's more than 10 deg outside... I miss breakfast, which is a normal slice of toast with butter, one cup of orange/fruit juice, and vanilla yogurt. Sometimes, maybe the sandwich is an egg mayo sandwich. Sometimes, the sandwich would be ham with lettuce and tomato. Sighs. And conversation over the table with Okaasan about various issues in Japanese. Watching news and asking her what it meant... Playing with Hikari and Wataru... Arg...

5. A few days ago, I stepped into the MRT, found myself a seat and promptly grimaced. I've been too used to cushioned seats on the Keihan. It came to me as a hard surprise when I realised that the seats were plastic. I'd forgotten what plastic seats were like - uncomfortable. Yesterday I sat in the train for about 1 hour and my back hurt lah! I swear those plastic seats... they're so uncomfortable. I want my Keihan cushioned seats. =(

6. Fashion in Singapore. I'm not a fashion police. Unfortunately, I know that fashion in Singapore isn't up to standard. I remember some time ago, I mentioned that Japanese fashion isn't all what is made out to be. I take that back. After stepping back into Singapore, i've realised that maybe, just maybe Singaporean males and females need to dress better. Or maybe, it's just because I don't embrace the beach babe kinda style, so, ultimately, I don't appreciate the style here. But then, plain shirt and jeans? shirt and berms? it's kinda.. I don't know. Strange.

7. In cleaning the closet a few days ago, I found clothes that I've all but forgotten about. Light, summery clothes. Well, it'd be nice to wear dresses again and not layer so much so that I look like some snowman.

8. When I came back, I found that the room was totally, utterly cleaned. Everything was in shelves instead of on the floor, and it was really really neat. [well, I came back and messed it up again, but thats expected. i'm a messy person!] But, I thought to myself as I entered the room, "You can throw away everything in this room (except my dolls and my psych books) and I wouldn't miss a thing." I was on FB one day and read my acquaintance's FB status, "It's scary how one's life can fit into a duffel bag." Yep, my life can fit into a luggage...

9. I need to repack my room =X Throw away stuff that I've not seen for years and just reluctant to throw away. Why do I have so much trash in my room?!

10. I was in the MRT beside this guy talking really loudly on the phone and remembered that in Japan, they'd ask you to switch the phone to manner mode or to switch off the phone. You're not supposed (at least, etiquette wise) to talk on the phone in the densha. It's rude. So, it came to me as sorta a shock when I realised that, hey, once again I can talk on the phone in the train!

11. Unfortunately, you can't eat in the MRT station. I miss those days when I can bring in icecream to the Hirakata platform and finish it in the biting cold. FORTUNATELY, there's no smoking corner in MRT stations.

12. One thing I'm glad about coming back to Singapore is that it's relatively smoke-free.. While sure, there are people smoking, but still, unlike Japan, you don't enter a restaurant's smoke-free section and STILL smell smoke. But of course, we can't expect smokers to sit in the cold and smoke, can we? (Actually, I can!)

13. Staying in Singapore. I used to dislike it when I hear people saying, "God I can't stand Singapore. I want to leave Singapore. I hate it here." Now, I can see sense in what they're saying. I don't hate Singapore, I don't not stand Singapore... I think, I just have an idealized version of things. "The grass is always greener on the other side." Maybe if I worked in Japan, I'd start hating it, and want to come back. Maybe.

Group Study Rooms (GSR)

I saw this on Sharon's FB status:

"In 2008, someone said GSR=Great Sex Room (Lam, 2008).. In 2009, with the new 3-booking rule, it shall be Greater Sex Room."

The comments that followed after...

"isn't it Group Sex Room then?" [I think this one's logical!]

And another one said, "Good Sex Right?"

Trust SMU students to come up with innovative comments like that. :) Seeing the light during dark times (or something like that).

Monday, January 5, 2009

This is why...

SMU makes me smile...

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. I deleted the mail, so I never got to see the mail. BUT, apparently... This is what's going to happen to GSRs...

***

'Dear Students

Changes to the Booking of Group Study Rooms

With effect from term 2 of AY08-09, up to 3 students will be able to simultaneously book a same group study room for study use. This change will free up more space for you to share the facilities with your peers for study area and also ensure that students have a fair number of hours of use of room facilities for group project discussions. There is no change to the room number of the GSR on the signage and room. However, on the live booking, you will find an additional word attached to each room to indicate “seat A”, “seat B” and “seat C”.

The “half-hourly” booking of GSR will also be changed to “hourly” booking. The effective date will be announced in the Facilities Booking System. This is to prevent abuse of GSR with half-hour booking interval where other students find it not practical to book for use.

Should you need any clarification or information relating to the above, please do not hesitate to contact Mr Hariadi at tel 68280346 or email: hariadi@smu.edu.sg.

Yours sincerely,

Ben Goh Teck Lim
Assistant Director
Office of Facilities Management'

***
The comments were interesting:

- This must be sponsored as an SDU initiative. lol
- Eh...benches can book 1 not ar?lol...issit book by square feet or number of seats?
- times are bad and the inflation on GSR is 300%. surely they put monkeys in charge over at OFM
- yawnz. what's new. almost every single decision made by them has money as one of the top considerations.
take for eg. the one and only student lounge in Smu
response: what student lounge?
- WTF?? do we pay 1/3 school fees too then?
- what next? book power point? toilet seat? Let's book library seats too!
- new year, same shit
- did they have too much to drink before they thought about this move? Will they label chairs in the GSRs now?
- ** knock knock** "Hey... i'm sorry.. i booked seat B.." "u sure??"

And the comments go on and on and on... I can't believe this... This is so... dumb!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I'm home

a) Phone.

My phone is not working. Will get it to work tomorrow. Meanwhile, I'm likely to be online if you guys want to talk to me.

b) Home

Home is such a strange place to me. It's all familiar, yet unfamiliar. I don't know how to explain this, but it's sort of coming back to a strange land, where I cringe to hear Singlish being used. It's not that I'm putting myself above others. It's just... Strange. I don't get it. I mean, I really do love Singapore... Or so I thought. Where did the love for Singapore, Singapore food, etc go?

I ate chicken rice today for the first time in 2 months (the last time, BK's mom cooked for me) and felt nothing. It's not like, "yay! I can finally eat chicken rice." It's just a "erm, okay. lunch. food." I gave no thought to it at all.

That's so not like me. Where did my enthusiasm for food disappear to? I thought I'd be happy to eat something that's Singaporean. Why am I not?

What's this constant whining and missing Japan about? What's this constant dreaming of 0 degrees weather about when I absolutely detest the cold? Why do I think about Japanese and why do I think IN Japanese?

I hope this sudden shock in coming back only lasts a while.

I need to get my act together for my new term. DAMMIT.

I didn't experience homesickness...But I do remember when I came back from America, despite the fact that I was glad to be home, I still felt like I wanted to continue travelling in US.

This time it's different. I didn't feel the "I'm FINALLY HOME" kinda feel when SIA 617 landed. Not even when the lead stewardess said, "to all residents and PRs of Singapore, welcome home".

Home, what is exactly home? Why do I feel this sense of ... dread? Like I don't wanna come home. Like home isn't a home anymore. Home is where my heart is, and my heart is in Japan.

Japan stole my heart, like no one has ever stolen before. It was in Japan where I experience genuine happiness, genuine freedom and genuine friendship. It was in Japan where i experienced my first autumn, first winter. It was in Japan where I first saw red leaves and yellow leaves and orange leaves.. It was in Japan where I first ate raw fish that did not make me throw up.

I SO MISS JAPAN.

I don't know how long I can stand whining about Japan. I don't think any of my friends appreciate this whining about Japan either. I shall attempt to curb my enthusiasm for Japan.

I talked to Daryn online this morning. We're moving our Japan trip forward. Next year, April.

Japan, here I come next year. Please wait for me...

29 dec - 3 jan

29 Dec 2008

We were packing to check out of Khaosan when my phone rang. It was from the police! Haha, I couldn't understand anything except they found my file. So I rushed down to the counter and made the staff take my call and explain to me in English what to do and how to get my file back. =) We went to Ueno Police Station, collected the file, checked in at Ikebukuro and headed to Shinjuku Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building which unfortunately was closed =X Oh well. But they had really nice statues stuff around so YK and I did some photo-whoring. Haha. Quite fun lah actually. =P If Daryn had been there, she'd have rolled her eyes at how photo-whorish we were. "narcissist!" she'd call us.

Dropped by Biccamera at Shinjuku. Actually wanted to go to Odaiba, but timing did not suit and we ended at some random izakaya. The guy sitting beside us chain-smoked like 7 cigarettes. *chokes* Hmm, but the food was relatively good, though the okonomiyaki wasn't all that great. Sighs, shinsaibashi's okonomiyaki is better *sighs* We tried one of those black sugar liquor thingie. I THINK it's black sugar wine. Could only read the two words: 黒糖. But it was good (okay, maybe cos it was super sweet. haha). We also had some tofu thingie, yakitori, black pig (黒豚) etc. Sadly, they did NOT have horse sashimi. I think Hiroto cheated me lah. He told me any izakaya would have horse sashimi (basashi). =(

Izakaya took a looooooooooong time, cos the food took 10 years to arrive (I think I would almost have died from hunger had they not served the tofu). We then took a random stroll down some alley where there were many many many izakayas. Izakayas suck because it's all smoke. there's not a smoke-free place in izakayas. *sighs* how come they don't die from lung cancer ah? Other than that, the food in izakaya's pretty good =)

30 Dec 2008

Our last full day in Tokyo. The day started off pretty early (9am is early for us! usually we leave at maybe 10.30 ish). First stop was Tsukiji Fish Market. If you do visit that place, please please please be careful of all your belongings. Bring a smaller bag if possible. Protect yourself etc, cos it was DAMNED CROWDED LAH.

I can't emphasize how crowded it was. YK has some pictures but there was a point in time neither of us wanted to get into the crowd because people were pushing and shoving and I almost lost my balance like 5 times. -________-||| But it was pretty fun to just stand in one corner and watch the guy cut tuna. The fish's really fresh in the market. YK said to go to Hokkaido where it's less crowded and where it's fresher. Haha. I bought some black soy beans (super sweet) and YK bought some ama ebi (sweet prawns). Niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =)

Then, we walked down to Ginza where I bought Daryn her present and we stepped into Uniqlo. AND THEN, I went and stood in the queue for baum at Matsuzakaya Department Store. It was a very very long queue. I'd have thought the craze would have ended 1.5 months on, but no leh. It was still as crowded. I bought one chocolate and one normal baum. They were pretty good; YK and I both liked the chocolate one better... *smacks lips* It was really really good! haha. No wonder there was such a long queue...

We walked to Biccamera again for YK to check out some photography equipment, and then continued onto Hibiya Park. I think, if I came back in Spring, Hibiya Park would be prettier. It was just dead woods and trees. Kinda disappointing =X Not that we actually crossed the road to go visit it. Haha. We just looked from opposite the road.

Roppongi's Tokyo Midtown was our next stop. For a place called... TORAYA. Haha, I got the winter selection. It was similar to the autumn one that I had in Nov when I visited with BK, except that they had chestnut then, and this time they had walnuts! =) It tasted a little salty, and very sweet (i poured all the syrup they gave me). Haha, nice combination, I thought.

We walked to the street near Roppongi Hills Apartment to look at the blue-and-white Xmas lighting. VERY PRETTY. I like very much! =) hehe. I saw it in Nov, but I don't think I'd ever get tired of seeing it again and again. We didn't go to Tokyo Tower because it was out of the way.. BUT, we did find 豆原 and the oden restaurant that BK recommended us. I bought some nuts from 豆原 but we didn't go to the oden restaurant cos...

We went to Odaiba.

Haha, the last time BK brought me to Odaiba, we went during the day. it's a whole new magical experience at night! It was pretty cold though, so we didn't walk on the Rainbow Bridge. But just looking at the bridge made me happy! Cos it was so so so pretty! =) And the christmas decoration! They were so pretty too. And the Ferris Wheel! Haha, we were looking at the Ferris Wheel and YK was comparing the Singapore Flyer to the Odaiba's Ferris Wheel. It's so much prettier in Japan...

I had to choose between oden restaurant and Odaiba. I'm so glad I chose Odaiba. The lights made the trip there worthwhile. Haha, though we didn't have enough time to go into the shopping area and look at the changing sky ceiling. =X saaaaaaaaaaaa~ next time when I go with Daryn or by myself or anyone then. =)

31st Dec 2008

try not to travel on new years. IT'S CRAZY. THERE WERE SO MANY FREAKING PEOPLE ON THE SHINKANSEN IT WAS AMAZING I DIDN'T DIE FROM THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN THE SHINKANSEN STATION.

yeah, well, I don't like crowds very much.

We missed our train unfortunately (there went my reserved seat. sighs) but luckily the next train, each of us got a seat =) hehe. But it was so crowded that about 30 minutes later, when i woke up from my sleep, the train was packed with people standing. How uncomfortable for them =(

Anyways, the Shinkansen passed by an area that had snow. Just looking at the snow made me feel cold. Robbie told me since I left Osaka, it snowed once. Haha. Okay, I'd like to see snow, but my fear of cold overpowers everything. I really am fearful of the cold... There was once when I was so cold in my room even though my room's heater was set to 20 deg that I couldn't stop shivering. =(

Ah well, (un?)fortunately, Kyoto wasn't snowing when we arrived.

We hunted for the hostels (YK stayed in Khouse while I stayed at JHoppers) and went to Yasaka Jinja at 9ish. Also visited Kodaiji. At 2am, there were 10,000 people (no, I swear, at least a thousand or so people) standing outside Yasaka Jinja. I don't know what for, because we didn't stay long enough to find out. I was tired, and JHoppers was really far far far away from Shichijo Station (maybe about 30-45 minutes?). I don't think I'd ever stay at JHoppers again if I'm in Kyoto, cos the location is just very bad. If I visited Kyoto again, I'd stay at Ichiensou (but then, I've said that already).

1st Jan 2009
Went to Fushimi-inari. =) It was very crowded, but extremely interesting. Haha.YK got quite a number of "temple activities" pictures, like throwing coins or something. A very simple day out, with dinner at a restaurant that Daryn and Alex and I use to frequent. Nice ambience, and relatively good food. Though, I still can't figure out what that mochi thing was that was so hard. =X saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~

2nd Jan 2009
Went to visit Daryn's Okaasan, helped her send a parcel to Daryn, went back to host family and PACKED, had dinner with host family, said goodbye, went to airport.

3rd Jan 2009
CAME HOME :'( Had 3 pineapple spritzers, 2 pineapple juice, 5 orange juice, 3 water, 1 green tea. Pineapple juice was REALLY GOOD =P As were the spritzers. I blame YJ for introducing me to them. Im now officially addicted to pineapple spritzers.

Okay, I got lazy at the end of the post. I've still not finished packing the closet. Sighs.