Urm...

I feel like crying. Feel like, not that I will, of course not. What kind of weakling do you think I am?

No, not homesickness. I love Japan too much to be homesick.

It's probably the result of listening to 等一个人, by 黃奕 on the computer at least 50 times because that's the only song (other than Full Metal Alchemist soundtrack that I brought along to Japan with me) in the account that can actually access to MSN. And also listening to other sad tracks on my ipod that's making me feel so upset.

There's a lot of things I wanna say, but I don't know how to start, or what to say, and I don't wanna say it here. All I can say is:

だらんは元気ですか。 心配だよ。=( (probably ungrammatical, but who cares?)

Just cannot stop worrying, just cannot....

I think too much.

I have a lot of time to think everyday.

Everyday, I commute about 100minutes. The walk from Gotenyama Station to KGU and back takes up maybe 20minutes one way (since I walk very slowly). Everyday I do the dishes. And the dishes take up maybe about 45 minutes (there are THAT MANY dishes to wash sometimes. I once took 1 hour to wash the dishes, including the pots and pans). It's during these periods in time that I start thinking and thinking and thinking non-stop :(

I have to stop thinking so much! Have to stop worrying so much... But it's so difficult, ne? :(

***

I've settled on the piece that I will be performing for my farewell party: Tchaikovsky's Barcarolle (Les Saisons).

Ive included the youtube video for it:



The sound is actually lagging (expected) behind the hand movements. But, if u don't look at the hand movements, just the music, it's beautiful. it's really really really beautiful <3...

Okaasan keeps telling me that this song is difficult (難しい) but I tried it and it was okay for me. Though I need to go a bit faster. of course, the chords are killing me. There are so many chords I'm going cross-eyed from looking at them! Okaasan's favourite part and mine, is around 2min15seconds of this video... But the beginning is nice too. The tune that is repeated. Sighs, have to start practising the slurs, the staccato, and everything. So long since I actually worked hard at a piece... I have 3 months to get it in shape. *crosses fingers that I won't slip up during the party, else it'd be embarrassing*

In these 3 months, I will be trying to play (once again) Chopin's Nocturne in Eb Major. Haha, I hope to be able to finally play it. Mrs Chua had a very tough time teaching me cos I refused to learn the chords and played it any oh how... haha, I think she just treated it as my sight-reading lah... But here's the song (since not all of u are Gerald who will probably know this song cos it's so bloody famous), in case u're interested.



We have an electronic piano right at the basement. It's got about 51 songs from the score book Okaasan is lending me to copy. :) haha. is that cool or what?!!!