I keep telling everyone that I'd wanna stay for another semester. But then, while washing plates today, I thought about it seriously. If I did stay for another semester, Daryn would be gone. Seeing that I depend so much on her, it'd be like I lost an arm or something and can't function as well. The fun in Japan is made up of 80% going around with her, acting cute and narcissistic with her and doing all sorts of silly things like get on the swing in some random park. Neither of us like smoke, nor do we like to drink, nor do we like late nights out. So we fit each other perfectly. But... once she's gone and Im all alone in Japan, it'd be a sad case, wouldn't it? While I still love Japan very much, the enjoyment would be cut into half.
*sighs* Autumn days are short. I need to hurry go out there and snap more pictures before trees turn bare (some are right now). And seeing that it's me myself this weekend, I can afford to leave my place at 7.30am and wander around till 8pm. =) 12 hours to wander around, not a bad idea. Heh.私は たくさんお金を持つ so that I can buy stuff. =)
Alex and I have decided to go to this famous mountain next Wednesday after class (so famous I forgot the name of it)... He says to catch the view during sunset and at night, it's gonna be so beautiful. Okay, so, please await my pretty pictures on Wednesday. Haha. Well, I could also skip RWJ class on Thursday morning if I reach home too late... *ponders seriously* I'm allowed to skip 30% of classes for RWJ and SPJ. But I've only skipped 1 class of SPJ and none for RWJ. Let me consider reallllllllly seriously about skipping class. I wouldn't skip another SPJ class cos I got lost somewhat after I skipped it last Monday. =X But RWJ is another thing =P
Ah, speaking of SPJ classes, we presented our Japanese skit today. Haha, it went fine. At least, we were relatively fluent :) I think Andrew took a video of the entire thing lah but I'm too lazy to get it from him. Haha. But it was so funny. I think all the skits presented today had something to do with going out and eating. =X Sebastian was really good at being the waiter. いっらしゃいませ! It was so amusing!!! He did it exactly the way waiters do in Japan, with the last せ held longer and in high pitch. we wanted to make him act out the set lunch bit [chicken = flap his arm, etc] but he refused. Oh well. Haha.
Hmm, sometimes weather forecasts aren't 准。Today was warmer than yesterday. The highest was 11 degrees. It also wasn't as windy as yesterday. So no wind chill. As I was walking up Gotenyama, I could see my breath! haha, it's so cold that there's mist! I love blowing into the air and watching the mist. It's one of those simple pleasures in life :) the best part about walking today is: I dressed up super warmly. I had a warm shirt inside, a sweat shirt and my white autumn coat =) [yes, the usual black and white theme]. Hehe. So it was altogether a great walk up and down Gotenyama. Oh, and last night, the temperature dropped to 1 degree, but I was asleep under my mountain of 4 blankets and the heater was on so 大丈夫! =)
Hmm... Everyone knows I dislike coffee. But, for the first time in many months (the last time was in SMU in April), I felt the need to consume coffee to focus on studying for the test today. Totally couldn't study my accounting stuff, so I went to sleep last night / this morning without reading even 10% of the material. I think I'm in hibernation mode already. I'm so tired and sleepy every single day. Anyways, didn't manage to get black coffee from Okaasan this morning, so ended up getting coffee at Seattle's best for 370 yen (I guess you could say it's normal price lah). Haha, cookies and cream latte when the temperature is 9 degrees, anyone? But later, I promptly got a huge headache and became nauseous. My body is so not suited to drinking coffee... The last time I finished Daryn's coffee for her, I became motion sick on the Shinkansen. =X Well, thats sort of good lah. It just means my body isn't dependent on caffeine, unlike most of my peers.
As I was doing some sums in preparation for my accounting test today, I felt strongly that... Maybe I need a math course every semester. I feel like I'm not working my brains if I don't have a math course. Okay, scratch that. I work my brains, but then a math course gives me a right/wrong answer. There's no in between kinda feeling that I like. Because I take soft sciences, I always end up having to argue X or argue Y and eventually, still have it left open for debate. But in math... There's no open to debate, at least not what I study. It's right/wrong. End of story. It's refreshing in some ways. It gives me something to focus on too. I don't know how to explain it. While I love the subjects I study, it's always great to have a subject that you know if u put in effort, u'd get 100%. Versus something that is totally totally dependent on what the professor thinks and whether s/he thinks the same way as you (for example, my reaction essays).
Speaking of reaction essay, I wrote a reaction essay about mizu shobai and the host club industry. And got an A! After the B he gave me the last time, I totally panicked. Call me perfectionist, but I'd prefer seeing an A for my reaction essays leh. Haha. Well, here it is, if u're interested in reading it anyways. I didn't think it deserving of an A. I'd have been kinda happy if I got an A-, but A is great. hehe.
The Host Club Industry
According to the documentary, “The Great Happiness Space”, 70-80% of the women who go to host clubs work in the mizu shobai. We can interpret this figure in two ways: either the women are so taken with going to host clubs that they willingly work in the mizu shobai, or they initially were already working in the mizu shobai and go to these clubs to de-stress after work. Of course, I should highlight, these two groups are not mutually exclusive.
I have great sympathy for the latter group of women. Most women working in the mizu shobai feel “bad about selling [their bodies]”. They spend the night catering to the needs of demanding men whom they (at least most) feel no love for. After a day of serving others, they need to be served; to feel like a “princess” and be put on a pedestal. A comment by one of the women working in a fuzoku, struck me as extremely sad. She said, “I can get anything [material] I want… [but] I really want to smile.” For these women, their visits to the host clubs are a way of escape from a reality they would rather not exist. The hosts make them happy and allow them to forget their stress at work.
Some women claim to have fallen in love with their hosts and so, work in the mizu shobai to support their hosts. Going to the host clubs is an addiction for them. They need to see those hosts; they get jealous when the hosts pay more attention to other clients; they spend money to compete with their rivals and do other things to get the hosts’ attention. I feel sorry for them because they obviously are dreaming. They ought to know better, but they don’t. Host clubs are, as Issei put it so eloquently, “in the business of selling dreams” and “fake relationships”. In essence, the women and male hosts are simply buying and selling romance as a commodity. Hosts understand this basic concept and try not to get overly attached to someone. “Once feelings are involved, you lose,” so said Issei. Customers who visit, on the other hand, sometimes blur the lines between reality and fantasy. “It is all worth it. For Issei,” said one of the customers. It is their dream to get married to Issei. Many women who go to the host clubs have boyfriends or husbands, yet they still persist in the relationship. This led me to wonder, “Are boyfriends not enough to provide all that hosts provide?” According to Takeyama, “[Japanese] men are insensitive to women’s psychological needs”. When I asked one of my Japanese classmates regarding this statement, she said, “Foreign exchange students behave more gentlemanly towards ladies. Japanese men do not care.” In a constructed environment such as host clubs, where the hosts have an uncanny ability to intuitively sense the women’s needs and meet them, women view the hosts as their white-knights-in-shining-armour. It is conceivable why they would fall for the hosts. One host called women “weak”. I definitely have to agree with him.
One of Takeyama’s informants said that her neighbours would call her “the mother of So and So”. This loss of individuality is somewhat key to the phenomenon of married women visiting host clubs. I once asked my home-stay family’s mother’s friend, “What is your name?” Instead of her name, she replied with, “Oh, you can call me ST’s Mama.” This loss of individuality is internalized so that even when introducing themselves, they no longer introduce with a name. Instead, they introduce themselves with their position relative to the household. Hosts lie if they have to. They tell women that they are beautiful even if they are not because “it’s all about them”. So, it is not uncommon to find middle-aged women visiting these host clubs. They find renewed self-confidence and their identity prior to the marriage. I think these women feel constrained by societal roles and expectations and this is a way for them to break free.
I feel that the host club industry feeds on women’s insecurities and dreams (not so different from other industries). As long as there is a need to fulfill their dreams of an ideal man, I think host clubs are likely to continue to survive.
-end-
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