Daryn

I don't think I ever told Daryn that I would miss her when I go back to Singapore. And even if I did, I don't think I ever told her the extent of my missing her. She does often talk about what it'd be like without me in her US life. I sometimes also tell her about how life would be back in Singapore without her in my life. But, I don't think she has any idea how much I'm attached to her. Wait, read that carefully. It's ATTACHED, not ATTRACTED.

Perhaps I should tell her that I'd miss her very much. After all, we should express our feelings to people when they're still around you, right? But, when she leaves, I suspect, I'd just goof around and crack silly jokes. She hates people who cry. If I start telling her how much a part of my life she's become, blah blah blah, I'd start crying. I refuse to cry in front of her. It'd only make her worry. Touched, maybe, but still worried. And just a bit annoyed. haha.

I've never felt so much attachment to a person I've only met for less than 4 months. She's like an elder sister to me. She takes care of me, tolerates my nonsense, hits me when I behave too stupidly (which is often), rolls her eyes when I say something really strange (like, "What do you think if I bought knives from hyaku-en store and put them in my carry on luggage?), goes with me on these super long 1 hour walks because we don't wanna take the bus and pay 220yen, gives me advice that she knows will make me unhappy, yet she tells me anyways because it's for my own good, seldom gets mad at me and when she does, it's only for a short while, shares with me her food (very funny! She'd buy buns that she knows I like so that if she doesn't like them, she can throw them all to me. haha. The same went for the chocolate cake she bought yesterday), buys me small gifts even though she's super stingy (very like me, haha. She says if I were a guy, I'd fail at relationships because I'm just too stingy to spend money on my girlfriend. But, I disagree!!! I spend money on people I care a lot a lot for! Just not as much as she does. haha.). She cares a lot about me, like today, I was hungry, so I zoned out while walking to Hirakata-shi, and she kept asking me, "Are you okay?"

I love, especially, the times when I'd say something stupid, ungrammatical or nonsensical, and she'd stop, stare very hard at me, and then double over in laughter. Yesterday, I don't know what we were talking about but she laughed so hard she needed her inhaler (got me a bit worried at that time though). It makes me really really happy to see her laugh though, cos, according to her, she doesn't laugh as much in US as she does when she's with me. Makes me feel special, I guess... (Hey, everyone needs to feel special, right?) I always ask her, "You know why you behave differently here compared to the US?" She definitely knows the answer to it now, "Because you're here with me?" and then she'd roll her eyes and call me "Narcissist!" HAHAHAHAHA. I'm one of a kind! =P

I hope, I never forget this feeling of togetherness. Of knowing that there's someone to depend on. Of knowing that in any situation, you'd be the first person she goes to when she's upset. Or when you're upset, she's the first person you'd email. because you know, for sure, she's there for you, no matter what.

Haha, how sappy, this entry is... I know, I've written a whole lot about her, BUT I felt compelled to write a blog entry about the very special, very important person in my life.

[/edit] There's something very important that I forgot to say: Daryn understands me so well. There are times when she'd shoot me down, but there are also times when she's on my side. One day, I was wondering aloud to her, "It's so strange, isn't it, that people always tell me, 'oh, you! you get perfect or close to perfect scores all the time. YOU don't have to worry...'." I feel really frustrated every time I hear that. Daryn understands my feelings perfectly. And although she scoffs at my drive to achieve perfect scores, she never ever said that to me. Well, if anyone actually managed to read this far without throwing up (cos this is soooooooo sappy), please try to refrain from saying things like that. It really makes me feel upset. In no way is it actually a compliment to me...